Here is a link into an interesting article on cohabitation and the financial cost of such a decision. It is an interesting phenomenon and one to be considered by anyone thinking of cohabitation.
“I care a little bit less that I thought I would about marriage” she said. “Once you start living together, it almost feels like you made that commitment.” So ends a recent article on why unmarried couples face a wealth gap.
Nearly fifty-nine percent of adults aged 18 to 44 are living with a partner, sharing rent and food costs, but maintaining separate checking and investment accounts. Yet, despite their two income lifestyles, the “net worth of cohabiting couples age 25 to 34 was … a quarter of that for married couples.” Why is that? Unmarried couples are willing to purchase a home jointly, but they are not willing to mingle their assets on an everyday basis. And they wonder if there is some magical reason why their married friends are doing so much better than they.
This wealth gap also exists in Black and Latino groups, where marriage rates are lower than among Whites and Asians. Yet, in addressing poverty in these two groups, planners and leaders seem to ignore this glaring fact. Why? Is the truth too difficult to hear? Perhaps bringing it up is an act of white privilege? Can poverty in these groups ever been really attacked until this issue is addressed in an adult manner, regardless and despite those who shun the concept of personal responsibility.
As the comment in the opening paragraph shows, living together may feel like a commitment, but it is only a convenient means of splitting expenses. The secret that married couples know that seems to be beyond the comprehension of the individuals mentioned in the article linked below, is that actual marriage is a commitment. In that commitment, a couple begins to focus less on themselves and more on that commitment. There is a shift in one’s mindset as one believes that an error, and there are plenty of errors to be made in marriage, can destroy years of work and compromises in planning for a future together.
The amazing thing about the article is that the interviewed woman does not seem to have any idea of what happens in a marriage. There is an old dialog where a man says to a woman that marriage is only piece of paper and that he really loves her. She turns and say that if marriage is “only a piece of paper”, then he should not be afraid of it. Could the value of marriage not be appreciated because it is considered judging someone? Then perhaps it should be taught as an exercise in economics.
